There are huge misconceptions in the realm of personal development…

This email is greatly inspired from a post I saw on Flakebook yesterday. The post was about a book that seems to be the “anti-personal development” book, whatever that means. The book was French (predictably…) and if I have to translate, it would go something like “I suck, and I intend to keep it that way…”

 

Basically, according to the book, the root of unhappiness is wanting to change your condition…

 

It even went further and stated that “change is impossible” so the best thing to do is to like our own situation as it is…

 

I think I even saw “Let us all stay fat and ignorant, and we’ll probably be happier…”

 

As you can guess, that didn’t resonate with me in the slightest… However, since I now try to be non judgemental (not successful at that every day yet, I must admit), I tried to see if all of this wasn’t some huge misunderstanding…

 

There is one thing I would have to concede to the author of that book, which is that one of the reasons why people have trouble changing is that they hate themselves as they are…

 

Let’s take the example of a person who thinks she’s fat and wants to get leaner. Very often, identifying to “being fat” is the problem. Because the person has a very poor opinion of herself, she will behave according to that opinion and keep eating more than she should…

 

However, that doesn’t mean that the person can’t change. There are countless examples of people who have lost a ton of weight and kept it off.

 

And generally, what helps the change is appreciating the process rather than delaying your satisfaction to some future hypothetical moment when supposedly, “thing will be perfect.” They never are…

 

That’s where the misunderstanding is. Just because a person must learn to reconcile with their body or their financial situation before reaching the goal doesn’t mean no goal should be set.

 

Setting goals is not a source of misery, quite the opposite. Having something to work towards give you purpose and meaning. That’s what allows you to wake up in the morning with energy to attack your day. However, it should be clear that the only time to work towards a goal is now…

 

I don’t see how giving up on life can bring anyone happiness because the heart wants what the heart wants…

 

Self denial doesn’t work, especially in the long term. What works is to find a way to appreciate your journey not delay anything because your point of power will always be now…

 

And if you want to learn how I changed my life and dropped the grumpy and pessimistic bastard for the zen and almost sane guy that I have become, I invite you to my last webinar of the year:

Ruthless self-management for 2017

 

See you there?

 

Anthony